Ok I'm taking a stab at reviewing some books, we will call them Rad Reads.
I recently read the book The Best Yes and it really changed the way that I'm looking at my life.
This is a book written by Lysa Terkeurst about using our time wisely and making decisions with an air of Godly wisdom.
She addresses the disease to please and how saying yes to everything is clouding up our lives. It is a tremendous book and I'm so glad that I picked it up. Needless to say I would highly recommend this book to you!
There are many things that I enjoyed about this book but I'm only going to touch on a few.
In the first couple of chapters in the book, Lysa has you log onto her website to complete a time survey. This survey means to show you where you spend your time and how much time you have left over. It's a depressing survey. According to mine, I have 2.5 hours free each day. 2.5 hours that isn't taken up by cooking, "cleaning", taking care of my kiddo, tutoring, laundry...you name it.
2.5 hours to do the things I've always, to do the things that I enjoy, to do the things that build and build on my list. And my list gets bigger and bigger and pushes harder and harder on my chest. It grows in my heart and suffocates my freedom. It doesn't grant me joy, but anxiety and resentment. I say yes to other things instead of to my list and I do not enjoy the things that I say yes to. I'm cheapening my Yes to myself and to those who might ask things of me.
After this, I wrote out the things I get to the end of the day wishing I had done.
1. read more
2. learn to sew
3. write a blog
4. flex my cooking muscles
That's what my list looks like. These may sound like selfish things, but they are in service of a greater purpose. The purpose of freeing me to say yes.
1. Read More: to learn about parenting, to strengthen my understanding of the Lord's work in my life, to lighten my heart, to engage my mind. Read more, so I can be better for others, so I may bless others.
2. Learn to sew: to create meaningful gifts for others, to broaden my horizons, to save money at home, to reestablish my confidence. Learn to sew, so I can have faith in my abilities again, so I may bless others.
3. Write a blog: to leak my words so I'm not always in my own head, to share our struggles and our victories with the world, to be real, to win people to Jesus, to brighten someone's day. Write a blog, so I can open my chest and show my hear to the world, so that I may bless others.
4. Flex my cooking muscles: to build my confidence, to fail with grace, to try new things, to explore with my family, to invite people around my table, to minster to hungry bellies and hungry spirits, because it is my love language. Flex my cooking muscles, so my house is always a place for a warm meal and soul refreshment, so that I may bless others.
5. Workout: so that I can feel better, be a better mom, play with my boys, wear cute clothes, stick around longer. Workout, so that I can be my best me, so that I may bless others.
Spending time in each one of these things leads me to better yeses down the road.
Yes, I would love to sew that for you.
Yes, I have felt that pain; here is my blog, read about how I got through it.
Yes, please join us for dinner tonight.
Yes, I would love to play soccer outside with you.
Yes, I have read that book....it changed me.
Some of my best yeses have already happened as a result of reading this book. I'm not spinning a million plates while nodding yes and dropping the ball. I'm learning to say a meaningful no so that a better yes can come later.
So what have I done now with all this information. I'm using those 2.5 hours a day for my list. I now read every morning after breakfast - whatever I want. I schedule projects for sewing and take time to really do it. I have a blog schedule that I keep, even if that means that every post isn't earth shattering. Just the act of sticking to my commitment is victory. I try at least one new recipe each week. I schedule a workout for at least 30 minutes each day. I stick to these things.
Which is why, sometimes, I say no to lunch. I say no to playdates. I say no to girls night. I say no to ministries that need just one more person or things that need planned. I'm not always saying no to these things. I love to be asked and I make time for all of it, it is so important to me. It's just why the answer won't be yes EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Please don't get to this point in my post and say, this was just a public announcement by Katie to get people to stop asking her to do things. HAH! It's like you don't know me at all. I LOVE to do things, and I LOVE to do things for you and with you. It's like my crack. I'm just saying that I'm learning balance and priority and that means that out of the 4 girls nights, I'll only be at 3. Of the 2 ministries I could serve in, I will only serve 1. Of the 10 dinners I could host, I'll only host 8. It's about being a better friend in those moments with you, instead of being stretched too thin and being a ghost of what I could be for you.
It's about choosing a BEST YES.
This book is incredible. I've learned so much in it's pages. It's too good to pass up.
Make the time.