Friday morning was surgery day for WillRad. He had a blocked tear duct and needed a stent to open it up. It's a fairly common surgery for kiddos his age and the doctor had done it many many times (according to all his people).
As an anxiety prone girl, I'm no stranger to the feeling that I was feeling the week leading up to Will's surgery. Like any mother facing surgery for their child, I was nervous. The night before, sleep evaded me.
Being an anxious person, I am practiced at praying away the choking and suffocating fear that bubbles up inside me during a major event like the one we were anticipating. A constant, exhausting, depleting prayer. One that leaves you tired and breathless when you were finished. A hard battle of praying away the enemy as he places lies in your easily assessable heart.
I knew this was the fate that awaited me that morning as we walked our little guy into the surgery center. What met me was quite different.
David prayed for our family the night before, asking the Lord for strength for us as we faced this procedure. This isn't something our of the ordinary and there wasn't anything special or magical about this prayer. It was a simple prayer of relinquishing our child to the Lord.
But the Lord answered in a way I never imagined He would. I was calm.
I laughed with Will in the waiting room as he talked and ran around...
I listened with a steady ear as they explained how they would put him to sleep, how he would feel afterward, and what they were about to do with my baby.
I giggled with Dave when they marked which eye they were supposed to do surgery on. I love that they wrote "yes". What a strange thing to mark....not a check mark, not a smiley face, but the word "YES" in all caps.
He had what the nurses self titled, the grandma crew. Which is perfect for Will, because he is such a charmer. He had them all eating out the palm of his hand...of course. They took him from us and walked away. I heard the nurse talking to him as they walked down the hall and we headed back to the waiting room. My heart ached as they lifted him from my arms, but remained in my chest...not in my throat.
Dave and I headed back to the waiting room and only waited about 20 minutes. We talked together and laughed a bit. Joking about our sweet boy and planning our summer.
Then they called us back. As we rounded the corner, we heard him. He was quite unhappy that he had woken up in a room full of strangers, feeling like someone had poked him in the eye, and groggy from the anesthesia. I had to take him to the window to calm him down. He was awake and he was breathing and he was fine...so I will take the crying.
The nurses told us to keep him from rubbing his eye. HAH! That's funny, you've clearly not met a one year old before. So I sat in the backseat with the prince on his drive home to keep him from rubbing his eye. He didn't give me too much trouble as we drove home - he was very very tired.
He snuggled the teddy bear that they gave to him and we were done. It was the easiest thing I've experienced as a mom. I experienced more anxiety when we gave Will peanut butter the first time than this surgery. I can only conclude...
God answered David's prayer.
We were still exhausted when we reached home, mostly from starting our day at 4am. But we were thankful for a little guy that breathes and laughs and throws fits.
It is right to battle with prayer. It is right to pray without ceasing and to pray with all your energy and strength. There are times you should exhaust yourself with prayer. But the Lord granted me peace in one prayer on Friday.
And it was a fresh breeze to be weary heart.
He's healing well and we are looking forward to a tear free eye.
Now if only I could get the YES off his face....